Well in just a week a lot has changed. Sort of.

On Saturday I went to the post office to pick up my certified letter from UNF. Although it was only a single letter and nothing indicating it was any sort of package, the letter told me that I had, after all of the anticipation of the past year, been accepted into the accelerated nursing program at UNF. This clearly changes everything. Or does it?

On Wednesday I got a call from the Mayo Clinic for a "Help Desk Manager" position that I had applied for. The only reason I applied for it was that I wanted to make sure my name was noticed for the regular help desk job I'd applied for earlier in the month. Anyway I was very surprised that they called to request an interview, especially since I didn't even get a call about the help desk position. I went in on Friday for the interview, and was even more surprised when after the interview the guy told me I should probably expect a call for a second interview. That 2nd interview, should I be given one, will not be for another month.

In a way I wish this had never happened. After all this time of being in limbo, I finally had a definite answer from UNF and a reason to relax about my long term future. But now, with this other job a surprising possibility, I can't say for sure that I'll be doing the program. This job pays 45,000 bucks a year to start, maybe more. Could I really be offered such a job and turn it down for nursing school? As much as it's taken to convince me that it's time to leave this line of work behind, should I turn around and stay in it?

My gut right now tells me no. It tells me that regardless of what happens with this Mayo job, I should stick with my plan with nursing. In the long run, it probably has the best outlook. It's the short run that would make me wonder. I could be making that starting salary and house hunting in a few months, or I can take out a student loan and go into debt to ultimately make what will probably be more money in the long run in nursing. Moneywise I think that it would be at best a wash, and if anything nursing would give the bigger yield. But job security-wise, it's not even close. And that's a big factor after what happened to me last year.

It also comes down to satisfaction. Nursing gives me a chance to expand my horizons so much wider and make me so much better rounded as a person. I see it as something I will enjoy and something that will never bore me. The "yuck" factor is what makes me wonder about it. Tech has gotten to this point that it does bore me.

So this should pretty much decide it. While I won't say for sure that this will be my ultimate decision, I expect to be in the thick of nursing school in a year. In a way, I kind of hope I'm never faced with the decision, and that Mayo goes with someone else. I guess I hope that just because it would make my decision so much easier.

This past weekend was a pretty cool time. I went to Orlando Saturday afternoon, which was probably a mistake. I think it might be time to just minimize my visits to Steve. He and his friends do little but get drunk and go woman-hunting. Ten years ago this might have been fine for me, but I guess now I just crave more intelligent conversation. More mature things to do. I don't mean to sound snobbish or heady, but Steve still acts like a college frat boy when he's around his friends. Anymore when I go down there he gives me a hard time for not wanting to go get drunk with him and his not-exactly-motivated friends. But after that we went to Titusville. We had a pretty good time hanging out with the parents, and Dan and his family. I am glad I went. It gave me a chance to see them and bounce my ideas aobut this possible decision I will have to make soon. And of course just hanging aorund with them was fun.

I am still not sure what to make of the situation with Judy. We talk on the phone a LOT. Like at least a couple times a week, and lately more like a couple times a day. Obviously, I really like her company. And as I was driving down to Orlando and called her up to give me some welcome company she finally opened up to me. She told me more about her and Greg. Turns out I'd correctly suspected, from the small bits of info she'd let out before, that she was sort of hanging onto him even though he didn't seem to want to do much to make them an official couple. I'd even guessed that she was clinging to the idea that this would change and that he'd commit to her more. She then told me that on Friday night she just got tired of it and left him a note saying she was tired of their situation and wanted it to be over. She told me how tough it's going to be that they work together and will have to see each other many times every day. I can't say she sounded as resolute as I'm used to her sounding when she's talking to me. Maybe she'll change her mind and go back to him. I wouldn't be too surprised if she did, since I think that's pretty much what's happened before. I told her that she does not need to cling to any such situation and that she has too much to offer to worry about finding someone else. I told her she needs to find someone who treats her the way she deserves. And then was the only time the possibility of us ever hooking up came up. She said "someone like my buddy Ted?" I just said yeah, someone like your buddy Ted. I haven't told her the truth about the email I sent her when she told me I was too old for her. And I see no reason to right now. That would defeat the purpose of having sent her the email I sent in the first place. Maybe I should tell her, but at this time I am not ready to. Either way, she said she was going to need some time to get over this, since she and Greg had been in this whatever-it-is relationship for 4 years now. I'm trying not to push this along too much and am sort of staying in close touch with her and taking a wait and see kinf of approach. I've gotten into the catch-22 situation of liking her as a friend so much that I'm not sure I want to ruin it by going further. But then, I also know how that usually turns out. One of us gets a "significant other" and we grow apart..... But my attraction to her could definitely overcome that. She is one hot girl.

So life is now starting to get really interesting. 6 months ago, it seemed like nobody wanted any part of me except my family and closest friends. Now, that seems to have changed. You hear people who have been through it say getting laid off or fired is often the best thing that could have happened to them, and I would think to myself how bad it would be. Now that it's happened to me, I definitely think it was a good thing for me. Maybe a great thing. Things are good.

Well I'm going to try to get this thing up to date. We'll see how far I get.

After a lot of wondering what to do and changing my mind a few times, I decided to take AOL’s severance offer instead of going to the Billing department. I knew that the Billing people were about to get moved into Saves anyway, which is something I could never do. So I left and decided to just be unemployed for a while. There is no doubt that this was the right decision. My plan was to leave AOL, take 4 classes that were pre-requisites for UNF’s Nursing program so I could knock them out, and have a realistic shot at getting into the accelerated program starting in May 2005. I was willing to listen if a really good job offer in IT came around. In early October, that almost happened, as I had what seemed like a very positive interview for a desktop support position at Mayo Clinic.

Alas, though it seemed promising, they did not take me, and I pressed on with my 4 classes. In the end, I got 4 A’s, as well as a much more thorough understanding of the human body and the nursing field in general. I did have to cash in some stock to get by, but the 5 months I spent unemployed were very fruitful. I was able to go home for Thanksgiving and spend 5 days with the family as well as taking a cruise for my stepsister’s wedding. It was also easy to swing the A’s in the classes, two of which were somewhat hard, since I was not working. I felt some stress simply because my future was so wide open and undecided, but in time I learned to appreciate the fact that I was going to start something new, whatever it was. The Anatomy 2 class was definitely the most influential. The professor was outstanding and I became friends with two of the smarter people in the class. We met a bunch of times to go over the material and we all helped each other understand it better. It didn’t hurt that one of them was a hot 22 year old named Autumn.

By the end of the semester, I was pretty set on moving on to the Nursing field. I still only applied to one program, the one at UNF, and admittedly have my eggs all in that one basket.

I moved in with Elise to start the new year. I must say, at least so far it is so much better than living with Dan in that crappy apartment ever was, even though we were getting along tolerably for the last 6 months or so we were together. Now, Dan is trying to pull some shit on me that’s pissed me off involving the old apartment and some fees we were charged by them concerning the carpet. I won’t get into it, but it’s made me lose what respect I’d regained for him and not want him around me and my friends anymore.

When I started living here, the Holidays and moving out which had kept me somewhat busy were over. I was taking one class with my professor from Anatomy 2, but that was all. I was pretty set from the time I started this plan that I would search for a job as soon as the holidays ended and I’d moved out. This is precisely what I did, and after a bunch of interviews I landed a decent job with Nelnet, doing exactly what I did at AOL. It’s actually contract-to-hire, but I already know that they want to hire me on. After 2 days of training I was taking calls, and after a week I was putting up similar numbers to my peers there. I have noticed that the company and the IT department in particular are much better run than AOL’s, and the company is one on the rise.

It surprises me that, had I landed this job a year ago, I doubt I would have considered any other fields. There is room to move up in the new company without having to move away. They seem to like me and I feel like I fit in okay. Yet there is now no doubt in my mind that if Nursing school is offered to me, I am going to take out a student loan to live on, and utilize the fully funded scholarship that I am eligible for and be back in school. I even look forward to it quite a bit. The new job at Nelnet is okay, but I’ve come to think so differently in this past year. The work I do now is, well, ultimately meaningless, and the people I work with are hardly people I want to emulate. They do not seem very motivated nor concerned much for other people. The fact that it’s such a sausage party also does nothing to make me want to stay in tech. In only my second week at work with the new job, I was already feeling bored and unchallenged. Leaving AOL and the job I had there and moving on to do the same thing at another company has made me realize that it is not what I want to do. I can also look around to other people around me doing what I would move up to do, and think that that is not something I want either.

Nursing is something that I look at as a challenge as well as an adventure. It would be easy to take the safe route and keep on doing what I’ve been doing. But then, little would likely change. With this new venture, I become so much more rounded as a person. I’ve already learned to live much healthier. I’ve been keeping in very good physical shape for the last year, and I have felt more alive than I have for years. Where I’m going is good.

I had my interview with the Nursing people over a week ago. I think it went well. While I am still somewhat anxious, I do expect to be admitted into the program. What makes me think it might not happen is the sheer number of people I’m up against. They said that 512 people applied for the program, 150 of those were offered interviews of which 140 accepted, and 24 will make the accelerated program and 48 the traditional track. I expect to find out once and for all, after all of the anticipation of the last year, what I will be doing for the next year in the next week when the letter form the Nursing program comes. We will just have to wait and see.

My dating life has continued to be nonexistent. I’ve spent a lot of this time focusing on just trying to make myself a better person. I notice that women seem more interested in me since I started working out and especially since I started feeling so much more alive, but nothing has come of the increased interest. I can’t deny that one of the things that makes the Nursing program seem more adventurous is the chance to meet more women. The only thing close to dating I’ve done is to hang out with the girl I met in Anatomy 1, Judy. We get along very well and I like her company, but we are definitely very different in a lot of ways. Add that she’s already said that she does not want to be more than friends and this does not seem likely to become more than it is now. I am intrigued by her, and she has a lot of class and is very cute. But for now at least, I am content with her company and with trying to help her.

That’s it for now. Maybe I’ll make writing here more of a priority again now that I’m caught up on things.