The new semester is well underway but so far it hardly feels like it. Not sure if they intend to be easing us in slowly but that's the way it's gone. The communication so far has been fairly shabby. We have not been given any real long range plans in 2 of our courses. The damn profs keep forgetting there's an accelerated class there (24 of the 72 in the damn class) and always talk as if the very different things that apply to the "decelerated" class apply to us also. I'm not worried though, it'll all work out. I’ve already been to a MADD meeting and an AA meeting to get them out of the way. They were definitely interesting.

One thing that will definitely NOT work out is this ill-advised thing with Julie. It's gotten worse. Any time I say I'm going to do or not do something and she doesn't like it she never says so till later. Then she just goes off. I'm like you shoulda told me you were mad when I said I wasn't going to come over, you nut. So now I'm in the process of trying to put some distance between us without being cruel or creating any animosity. The one thing that really sucks is that she says she still hasn't had her period. I've caught her in a ton of lies before, so who knows if that's true. She might be trying to corner me into sticking around. I would not put it past her. But the fact remains that it is a possibility, if a remote one. I tell myself about how unhealthy she is, on antidepressants, taking sleeping pills to sleep, with her anemia and her constant (and unreasonable) worrying and it adds up to the fact the odds are highly against her being pregnant. My god, what a mess it would make. This is why I stayed celibate for so long before.

In that department I also went to a movie with Judy and some of her friends on Saturday night. It was good to see her again but there’s no reason to think the nature of our platonic relationship is about to change.

I’ve actually been emailing some chicks on match.com. You never know what might come of that. Either way, I’m still surrounded by women. Something someday is going to happen. Of that I’m sure.

My few weeks off from school is coming to a close. I can't say I mind getting back to business.

I'm finally fully moved in and unpacked. Living here with Davy and Kelly seems like it's going to be fine. The things we own came together well to make what is a comfy living situation. I do think that I will be happier here than with Elise. We so far have cooked for each other and that is something I always liked. Living so close to school will also make things a lot easier.

The thing with Julie also seems as if it's coming to a close. And it probably should. We simply do not have a lot in common. From the foods she eats to the temperature she keeps her apartment at to her indifference towards sex, how can this work? The other night was a perfect example. I was staying the night and I could not sleep. It was too hot. So she was sleeping and I just got up and left. She called me as I was leaving the gate of her apartment complex, and said wtf are you doing. I said it was too hot and she said please come back and she'd lower the temp. So I did. For some reason she says she sleeps better when I'm there. So I actually got to sleep but woke up at 6 AM with a raging erection. I tried to get something going with her but she was not interested. I couldn't stand laying next to her like that so again I left. Came home and went to sleep.

She called me later yesterday saying she doesn't need drama like that. I finally told her why I left both times and said I wasn't trying to make any drama. Then last night we talked about it again. She was saying i should have told her about this but I was like how? But in the end, I think a big obstacle is going to be the very different ways we look at sex. When I'm in a relationship I like to have sex at least twice a week. More like every other day. She doesn't even like it. And we haven't had sex in over a week. So how is that going to work? Add in that every time me and my roommates make dinner there's some sort of meat as the main dish and we don't even invite her over for our dinners. There's just too many opposite things at work here.

Last night when I was talking to her I mentioned how our relationship was going to be put on hold soon. She was like, it is? I reminded her that SHE was the one who kept saying that once school started up again we'd go our separate ways. I know it's kind of playing dumb to have really expected that but she was the one tossing it out there. I've been like i always am--we'll take it as it comes and see what happens. I guess I am kinda looking at what she kept saying as my way to get out of this thing. There's a slight chance we could keep things going for a little while but I think we both know it won't last. At least I know it. I don't need a messy relationship in which I've felt like I'm on pins and needles most of the time anyway.

Judy is seeing some guy she keeps talking about. Our "When Harry Met Sally" type relationship continues. I haven't told her much about Julie because I think she gets a little jealous. Which is strange too since the only reason we have never dated is that she told me I was too old for her.

Tomorrow is my first of 2 fantasy football drafts. I have to get my research in order and ride to Melbourne with 2 other guys who are in the league. Then tomorrow night a Russian classmate is supposed to make me and a few others a Russian dinner. I hope I get back in time for that. At least this thing with Julie can be put on hold for a few days....

Well last night was mostly a very good time. Julie and I went out and had something to eat and then we had some ice cream. Then we went back to her place and talked for a while. I ended up spending the night even though she was going to go over her mom's and I was going to go home. Then we had sex. This time I had no problems at all. Maybe I was finally over the blueballs, or I don't know what else. She let me know that she didn't have an orgasm so I went down on her to try. She still didn't. She said she never has.

Then the night was rather spoiled when she reminded me that I screwed up royally by not wearing a condom. What the hell was I thnking? I did pull out but that doesn't mean that much. So now we both have this to worry about. And she said she is never actually regular with them and that if it is regular she won't menstruate until the end of the month. AAAAAAGGGGHHHHH. What the hell was I thinking....I had a condom right there. I literally just forgot aobut it and didn't think. Dammit.

The summer semester is finally over. It ended on Friday. I'm glad it's over but I am already looking forward to getitng the next semester going. We keep being warned about how hard this next semester is going to be and that most people who don't make it drop out in this semester. While I doubt I will be one of them, I am wondering what exactly this semester will be like. There were definitely some parts of this past semester that I liked. I liked being around the people in my class. The ladies treated me well and of course us men have a certain other type of bond. I got to know the people in my class very well. And that was kind of fun. The classwork went okay and I ended up with an A, A-, and 2 B's. Not great but also not too bad.

The break has so far been filled with almost too much activity. There's this thing with Julie. It's progressed to being a full-on relationship. Which is good as well as bad. She definitely has some rather serious mental problems. She takes antidepressants--never a good sign. She can be VERY difficult to deal with. But I suppose I'd gotten to know her well enough and thought her intriguing enough to continue on despite the sometimes odd behavior. And this past weekend we finally took it the rest of the way.

She made it hard to get there. While I was in bed with her she refused to let me slip it in. I tried a few times and before I knew it I had a full on case of blueballs. Later when she let me I couldn't anymore. I sometimes wonder about my sexual problems. Is it a result of blueballs? Or does it go deeper? After all, this was my first time in SO long. Was I just not used to it? It's not been uncommon for me to not be able to do it the first few times with chicks. In fact it's been almost the standard. The only person I can think of that it wasn't a problem with who I actually dated was Kelly. But since then it's always a problem. Is it because I tend to go so long between these types of relationships? I wish I knew. I think these recurring problems might be the reason why I don't try to hook up as often as people seem to expect. It's a problem and I know it. I'm going to try again with Julie. Maybe it will work. When it does I am so happy. So relieved. But until it does I won't be.

I still talk to Judy quite often. I find myself mesmerized by her sometimes but other times I listen to her stories almost reluctantly. She can be amused fairly easily it seems. At least with her own stories. Sometimes I think we're the perfect match and other times I think we are certainly not.

At least with the nursing thing the women seem to be drawn to me like never before. So while I seriously doubt things with Julie are going to continue to the point that we actually start talking about any kind of a future together, I have all kinds of faith now that I can find someone who I relate to a lot better and who I like a lot better. I finally feel confident that I won't be single for all that much longer. And it feels good.

I am also in the middle of moving. In 2 days my living situation will be totally changed. And as always I feel a little reticent to try yet another arrangement, but it is inevitable now. I doubt I will have a problem living with Kelly but sometimes Davy can be rather volatile. So I guess we will just have to wait and see. In the meantime I have to move. That sucks. I'm tired of moving. But by Monday it will finally be over.

Here I am after half a bottle of pinot noir and feeling really good. Really I was supposed to be studying but I just can't right now. It's the eve of a huge test but I feel more compelled to have some wine.

I am about to complete my first semester of the UNF accelerated nursing program. I hafta say I am about as happy with myself and my life as I have ever been.

I am sorta dating the admin of the department. She has her own personal issues but they are nothing compared to the women I've dated recently. And wow, since I started this program I've become something of a hot commodity--something I haven't been for a long time.

At this point I am open to whatever may come of my future. And I love saying that this future seems as bright as it ever has. I have made some good decisions recently. I am going to be a good nurse--of that I have little doubt. And through my new work and my new type of life--which is like nothing I've ever experienced--I expect to meet all of my life's goals. It's amazing how well things have gone since I left the failing company that is AOL.....

I still talk to Judy sometimes. She is getting cooler as she get s a little bit older. Smarter and more able to hang with me. I feel myself so strongly attracted to her....but yet we have never done much relationship-wise. Maybe someday.....