I have not written in a while. I've been down to see my parents twice in the past few weeks. Partly to see them and spend time with them but also to get out of town and away from this stressful living situation.
Davy and I had another big argument and we both los our tempers. It started when I went to the gym one day. Usually, Davy tells me when he's going jogging and tells me not to lock the door, because, for whatever reason, he does not take his keys with him jogging. So I locked the door and went to the gym. I saw Davy jogging when I was leaving the condos but I was on the phone with my preceptor at the time and didn't think anything of it. I left my phone in the car to charge and went in the gym. On my way back from the gym, I saw he'd called like 15 times from a number I had not seen before. He'd left a terse message about being locked out and having things to do. Soon after, I pulled up. I think he was probably sitting in his truck, steaming, the whole time I was working out. He jumped my shit as soon as I got out of the car, yelling, why would I lock him out and he'd never do it to me. I started yelling back, amazed that he would think I'd done it intentionally. It got way out of hand. Now, we haven't spoken in weeks.
The living situation has not improved. I sent him an email when I was down at my parents saying we need to talk. He sent one back saying he didn't see the point. I am sort of giving up right now. I guess if he ever feels ready we'll talk again. Till then it's still very uncomfortable for all 3 of us. I look forward to getting out of here. My plans now are to move back in with my previous roommate Elise. She owns her house and I get 2 private rooms and the bills are covered for $575/month. We never had any real disagreements last time around but she does have some habits--cats all over the place and she smokes dope a LOT-- which will make me want to move on again relatively soon. The best thing is that there's no lease involved so I can move out whenever I want to.
It was good to see my parents, though, and do some things with them. This past week on Wednesday while I was down there I decided to try skydiving. I started looking into doing a jump after a girl I've been emailing on eHarmony who has jumped like 6,000 times told me about the Titusville facility. My brother who lives in Orlando was supposed to go with me but then the day I had to schedule it he said he couldn’t get off from work. Having already planned to go, I saw how perfect the weather was going to be and decided to go on my own. It seemed that if I kept waiting for someone to go with me it was never going to happen. My mom and dad came along to watch. Their different personalities were magnified by what they came to see. My mom was not worried at all, she thought it was cool. My dad, however, the ultra-conservative one, was pretty worried. He never told me he forbade me from going--I'm an adult after all--but made sure I knew he thought it wasn't smart. After he saw the whole operation, though, I think he felt more comfortable with it.
I wasn't ever worried about the jump...until the last second. I was fine and trying to take it all in when we were on the ground suiting up, and when we were in the plane, checking out the scenery over the space center. It wasn't till we got to the door that I felt any fear. But even then it was just a twinge; the jumpmaster had already earned my trust, and I had faith it was going to go fine. Luckily I've always had a very strong stomach (I am a nurse, after all).
When you go that high (18,000 feet!), you get lots of freefall time. Once I was oriented okay the jumpmaster was moving my arms and showing me how to spin. It wasn't too hard. We did that for a while. I tried to tell him let's do a roll but I don't think he could hear me at all--my words just flew past at 120 mph or however fast we were going. I was just starting to get used to being weightless when the drogue and canopy came out, and we were softly and slowly suspended in the air. He showed me how to turn, and pointed out some of the sights. What an awesome feeling! I was turning us around for a while. Then we landed, and I think because of the wind, we landed sort of sideways and he clunked me in the head. Good thing my head is made of rock.
So I definitely want to do that again. Wish skydiving weren't so expensive or I'd be doing the AFF course next week!
Working as a nurse can be very moving, and can drain you. I had another tough few days at work last weekend. I had a patient sent to us from the ICU because they were out of room and we had an available bed. I had cared for the patient just a few weeks before, a 36 year old man who had been doing fairly well the last time I saw him. He was tall and looked athletic. I remember he was telling me about his business working on fishing boats and water skiing up home in South Carolina, and was telling me about his daughter. Now, this man’s condition had deteriorated so thoroughly that he was unable to stand or speak, and by Sunday was totally incoherent and required complete care. His wife and mother were in the room and were crying at times during the day. They both knew that he was not doing well. I checked and he was still in ICU this week. And of course it affects you. If it doesn't you porbably shouldn't be there.
At this point I do not know what my next step as a nurse will be. I've looked into nursing informatics, maybe practitioner. Nurse anesthetist and another 2 and a half years of school are not appealing to me right now. If I'm not settled with anyone in another 2 years I might just take off and try travel nursing. Who knows. For now, I'm just working and trying to learn as much as I can and get some debts paid off.
In a 11 days I fly up to NJ to my brother Mike's for 4 days. My sister in law Michele has a c-section planned that day. My parents will be there and so will hers and her sister, who is a nurse. It is another way to get away from here and also to see everyone, especially the newest member of the family. Cool to think I will see him or her on their first day in the world.
Tomorrow it's back to work. Hoping I'll have more uplifting patients...
Davy and I had another big argument and we both los our tempers. It started when I went to the gym one day. Usually, Davy tells me when he's going jogging and tells me not to lock the door, because, for whatever reason, he does not take his keys with him jogging. So I locked the door and went to the gym. I saw Davy jogging when I was leaving the condos but I was on the phone with my preceptor at the time and didn't think anything of it. I left my phone in the car to charge and went in the gym. On my way back from the gym, I saw he'd called like 15 times from a number I had not seen before. He'd left a terse message about being locked out and having things to do. Soon after, I pulled up. I think he was probably sitting in his truck, steaming, the whole time I was working out. He jumped my shit as soon as I got out of the car, yelling, why would I lock him out and he'd never do it to me. I started yelling back, amazed that he would think I'd done it intentionally. It got way out of hand. Now, we haven't spoken in weeks.
The living situation has not improved. I sent him an email when I was down at my parents saying we need to talk. He sent one back saying he didn't see the point. I am sort of giving up right now. I guess if he ever feels ready we'll talk again. Till then it's still very uncomfortable for all 3 of us. I look forward to getting out of here. My plans now are to move back in with my previous roommate Elise. She owns her house and I get 2 private rooms and the bills are covered for $575/month. We never had any real disagreements last time around but she does have some habits--cats all over the place and she smokes dope a LOT-- which will make me want to move on again relatively soon. The best thing is that there's no lease involved so I can move out whenever I want to.
It was good to see my parents, though, and do some things with them. This past week on Wednesday while I was down there I decided to try skydiving. I started looking into doing a jump after a girl I've been emailing on eHarmony who has jumped like 6,000 times told me about the Titusville facility. My brother who lives in Orlando was supposed to go with me but then the day I had to schedule it he said he couldn’t get off from work. Having already planned to go, I saw how perfect the weather was going to be and decided to go on my own. It seemed that if I kept waiting for someone to go with me it was never going to happen. My mom and dad came along to watch. Their different personalities were magnified by what they came to see. My mom was not worried at all, she thought it was cool. My dad, however, the ultra-conservative one, was pretty worried. He never told me he forbade me from going--I'm an adult after all--but made sure I knew he thought it wasn't smart. After he saw the whole operation, though, I think he felt more comfortable with it.
I wasn't ever worried about the jump...until the last second. I was fine and trying to take it all in when we were on the ground suiting up, and when we were in the plane, checking out the scenery over the space center. It wasn't till we got to the door that I felt any fear. But even then it was just a twinge; the jumpmaster had already earned my trust, and I had faith it was going to go fine. Luckily I've always had a very strong stomach (I am a nurse, after all).
When you go that high (18,000 feet!), you get lots of freefall time. Once I was oriented okay the jumpmaster was moving my arms and showing me how to spin. It wasn't too hard. We did that for a while. I tried to tell him let's do a roll but I don't think he could hear me at all--my words just flew past at 120 mph or however fast we were going. I was just starting to get used to being weightless when the drogue and canopy came out, and we were softly and slowly suspended in the air. He showed me how to turn, and pointed out some of the sights. What an awesome feeling! I was turning us around for a while. Then we landed, and I think because of the wind, we landed sort of sideways and he clunked me in the head. Good thing my head is made of rock.
So I definitely want to do that again. Wish skydiving weren't so expensive or I'd be doing the AFF course next week!
Working as a nurse can be very moving, and can drain you. I had another tough few days at work last weekend. I had a patient sent to us from the ICU because they were out of room and we had an available bed. I had cared for the patient just a few weeks before, a 36 year old man who had been doing fairly well the last time I saw him. He was tall and looked athletic. I remember he was telling me about his business working on fishing boats and water skiing up home in South Carolina, and was telling me about his daughter. Now, this man’s condition had deteriorated so thoroughly that he was unable to stand or speak, and by Sunday was totally incoherent and required complete care. His wife and mother were in the room and were crying at times during the day. They both knew that he was not doing well. I checked and he was still in ICU this week. And of course it affects you. If it doesn't you porbably shouldn't be there.
At this point I do not know what my next step as a nurse will be. I've looked into nursing informatics, maybe practitioner. Nurse anesthetist and another 2 and a half years of school are not appealing to me right now. If I'm not settled with anyone in another 2 years I might just take off and try travel nursing. Who knows. For now, I'm just working and trying to learn as much as I can and get some debts paid off.
In a 11 days I fly up to NJ to my brother Mike's for 4 days. My sister in law Michele has a c-section planned that day. My parents will be there and so will hers and her sister, who is a nurse. It is another way to get away from here and also to see everyone, especially the newest member of the family. Cool to think I will see him or her on their first day in the world.
Tomorrow it's back to work. Hoping I'll have more uplifting patients...
