Just got back from the trip to Roanoke VA for Thanksgiving with the family. It started well enough. I was able to tolerate Steve enough (barely) and we went to Moonfish Tuesday night and had a great dinner. We went to the Sanford airport on Wednesday, the "busiest day of the year to fly" and the airport was almost empty for most of the day. We flew up and then had a good dinner with mom, dad, Dan and family.

Then Thursday I woke up with a very sore throat. At least that's all it was, though. I was able to go to our early Thanksgiving meal and it was all good. But then late that night I started to get a fever. The next day I was pretty sick. Fever, congestion, runny nose, headache, dizziness. So I pretty much laid in bed or on the couch for the next two days. I had just enough to fly back to Sanford, ears feeling like they were going to explode, and drove back up here Sat. night still feeling dizzy and with a headache. I called out of work last night because of the dizziness and was still feeling short of breath. Today I still feel short of breath and pretty dizzy but I think I can make it through tonight.

Let me harken back to the good old days of this blog, before my scumbag ex-roommate Dan "accidentally" discovered it. That dude is still a scumbag. Get this: the other night at the Jag game he was about to hook up with this trailer-trash chick who was at the game with us. This guy should feel incredibly lucky to have a girlfriend as cool as he does, and he was about to blow it. They were all rubbing on each other and I bet if we hadn't told him not to he woulda done her. What a tard.

Nothing new on the dating scene. I'm thinking of trying a speed dating session. Sounds desperate, doesn't it?

Well yet another disappointment with online dating. What was that 5 days ago I was saying how encouraged I was with this new girl Chris? I just got her "Dear Ted" email. It's a little less surprising because she wasn't answering or returning my calls. Still, it kinda makes me feel very disappointed because I had been so excited about it. She said she'd met someone else on eharmony and felt a strong connection with him. One thing that makes me wonder is, when I was out with Davy and Kelly, Davy was saying some things like he was trying to sort of sabotage the whole thing. I am not sure what the hell was up with that. I was able to recover enough from the snide and unnecessary comments he made, I thought, or maybe I was not. So, I trudge on, wondering if and when I'll be feeling that strong connection with someone.

Tammie keeps sending me emails. I sent her the breakup email a long time ago and have not called her since. It's nice that she likes me but I see no reason to resume what I long conidered a relationship doomed to failure. I simply did not feel the same way she does. If you believe in punishment, maybe you could say Chris is my punishment for Tammie.

I also started talking again the other day to G, the girl from match who I'd had a fizzler of a first date with. I'd be surprised if we actually met again, but I guess you never know. Especially now that I am clearly very much single and looking again.

Till I have better news....

Two months since my last writing here. Of course some things have changed.

First off, I re-took the NCLEX on Oct 12 and passed it with the minimum number of questions. I can wonder all day how the hell I could have failed it so miserably--having only 10 questions over the minimum for the test to determine that I sucked, and then pass it with the minimum...but it's over now. Whatever happened before is pretty damned irrelevant. I knew I'd passed it this time when I left.

After that, and even up to now somewhat, it's been like....what do I do with myself now? After a year of that intense nursing program, and then those months of studying, all of a sudden I have 4 days off a week. That's been quite a difference, as well as a major relief. And I just got my first nurse paycheck. I'm still in debt---especially after the saga of this damn tooth I had to pay to get fixed--but I know that now I will not have much problem paying these debts back. The night I found out I passed, I went and got way too drunk at Hugh's house. Since then I've been somewhat focused on work and on making sure I'm well rested when I go in to work, because I have so much to learn. I've also come to realize that failing that test might have almost been a good thing. Now, I know most of the people on my unit, I know where most of the stuff I need is, I know some of the patients from before, and I sort of know the routine. It all adds up to making this nursing orientation quite a bit easier.

Other than that, I've been continuing to date. The whole situation with Tammie finally came to a subtle end. I tried telling her I didn't want to keep going out over the phone but somehow she convinced me not to say it. Something about women crying on the phone that's hard for me to handle. Then I sent her an email saying it's over. I've gotten a few back from her, most saying how rude it is to do something like that in email and also saying she did nothing but support me and so on. They made me feel like a total asshole. I've tried to bring myself to call her back to just say something and put it all to rest but it's been just too hard to do. Her emails have become more biting and bitter as time goes on. Maybe it's just best at this point to let it all go so she can realize the finality of it and move on herself. What's a little strange to me is that we only went on like 6 dates...and some weren't really even dates. She is a little on the crazy side also. She kept wanting us to have sex on the beach. We did it twice and once we thought we were about to get caught by a cop or something. Turned out it was some guy with a flashlight just trying to scare us. Either way it wasn't my favorite thing to do. She wanted to go do it again one night and I just told her I wasn't feeling well. I can't be getting arrested. I've got a career now to worry about. She seems to just throw all caution to the wind quite often. That said, we did get along pretty well. But it's definitely over now.

A few weeks after we started going out, I was talking to another chick I'd met on match. She was a 31 year old teacher who lived in Riverside. We were sending each other long emails and then AIM'ing each other a lot. Then finally, although I'd never seen her picture, I said let's meet for dinner. We met at a place I'd never been to before, the Mossfire Grill, recommended by a friend who lives in Riverside. She was plenty good looking, but for whatever reason I did not feel much of a spark when we did meet. I got the impression that she was a little embittered with something, not quite positive what it was. I probably should have given it another chance but she quickly faded into the past as I kept doing things with Tammie.

Then I started a new eharmony thing with this woman Chris. She's a 34 year old rehab counselor. What really struck me from the start was how much we had in common: recent career changes, political and religious convictions, general feelings on society. I'd have to say it's rare that I meet someone who shares these opinions with me (although the match chick I was just talking about seemed to also). I have never felt like someone has to think the way I do for me to go out with them or consider a future with them, but I think it might save some potential problems down the road. We emailed for weeks, marathon-long emails about anything and everything. She was a reporter in her previous job, and she sure can write. Finally it was time we met--on Halloween night. I had seen from her pictures that she seemed like a strikingly attractive woman. When I met her I was like, wow! She is easily the prettiest woman I've ever gone out with. So our first date went very well. She also lives in Riverside, so I thought I'd give Mossfire a second chance at another first date. It went so well that we never even stopped talking long enough to order. The bartender finally threw us out after we'd only had a drink apiece over the past 3 hours. She seems very heady, very much of a deep thinker, and we get along pretty well. Our second date was a bit strange, as I met her and some of her friends at Sneakers for the Gators-Vandy game. Then we went to Lynch's at the beach where we chatted and choked on smoke, and then we went to see a movie which was only playing at Regency, and somehow the time was wrong and it wasn't starting for another 2 hours. I just said let's call it a night since I'd worked the night before and was really pretty tired. Then we got lost trying to find 9A and drove all over the place and I told her some of what she calls my "juvenile delinquent" stories. Anyway last night we went out for a third time, this time with Davy and Kelly. We had a very good time at dinner, and then we went to see The Departed. It was an ok movie but long, and she fell asleep towards the end of it. I noticed she was asleep and at first just figured I'll let her sleep. Then I was looking at her and just thinking how pretty she was, sitting there sleeping.

I don't know how she feels about us having three dates now and us having not moved beyond short sessions of some light but fairly passionate french kissing. I am fine with taking it slow because I really like her and want to take my time with this. The whole thing with Tammie and having sex on our second date was very surprising as well as a little out of place and seemed to sort of "age" our relationshiop inappropriately. So for now I'm very hopeful that this may turn into something truly wonderful. I don't want to get too optimistic or start assuming anything, but at least for now I am very impressed.

That's all for now. Hopefully I'll have more good things to talk about soon.